Friday, 2 November 2012

Keyboard Warriors, Keyboard Warriors Everywhere.

Ahem. Okay class, today we're going to learn about keyboard warriors.

By definition, keyboard warrior means a person who, being unable to express his anger through physical violence (owning to their physical weakness, lack of bravery and/or conviction in real life), instead manifests said emotions through the text-based medium of the internet, usually in the form of aggressive writing that the Keyboard Warrior would not (for reasons previously mentioned) be able to give form to in real life.

(Source: Mr. Google Images)

If you wish to read other definitions, here's the link: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=keyboard%20warrior

So, why do I suddenly bring up this subject? Did I, by any chance, met one? The answer is 'yes' in caps, bold, underline and size 48, font Goudy Stout.

Well, not just me I think, who has met this keyboard warriors type of people. I mean, they are everywhere in the Internet! Especially on forums and social websites. (Hint: Facebook)

And my experience of meeting a keyboard warrior in obviously on Facebook since I literally hang out there every day. Yes, I'm that lifeless so what?

Therefore, in my opinion and other *cough*intellectuals*cough* out there, being a keyboard warrior is a BAD, BAD thing to do. _I mean, where are your manners people? Before you bash anyone or anything, ask yourself: Can I say the same thing to them if I were face to face with them? If you think you can't, then don't say it. If you can't say anything nice, then don't say it. Or write it in this case. This will save you from lots of hate, wrath and death wish from people. Besides, if you are a Muslim, you should know that your sins of hurting people will not be forgiven UNTIL you seek forgiveness from the people you hurt. Yes, it's that serious. *insert serious face here*

But that's not the saddest part yet, sometimes this deed is done by the younger generations in their teens! Gosh, I can't imagine how society would be when I got older. Rude kids, rude kids everywhere. In fact, I was once told by this kid that I "have no skills. Your design must be hideous." The heck?

Alaa, husnudzon (bersangka baik) la sikit. Dia gurau je tuh. Budak je kot.

Oh yeah? Try reading that every time you're doing something and the same people insulted your efforts and hard works. -_-

Another case of mine is this God's creature. He, like the previous kid, loves to piss people off. (What a sadistic hobby) Well, at first it was funny. Lawak kasar bhai. Bole lagi. Then, he trolled you like every freaking time despite knowing you are ANGRY with HIM. Come on, it doesn't take the brain of a rocket scientist to know someone is hurt or angry with your crude remarks by the curt replies. Why don't you just apologize when you knew you have gone overboard?

Oh, wait. There's this little thing called 'ego'. This is another first class world problem.

Shamelessly, the same keyboard warrior too, whenever there was work to settle, he would come looking for me, asking for help through SMS and chats. Guess what? This boy is very introverted-ly quiet to the point he doesn't have much of a presence himself in real life. But online, astargfirullahalazim. *facepalm*




I remembered very, very clearly what my English teacher said in her speech during one of the assemblies in high school:

"It takes years to build a friendship and only one word to end it. Who knows that one day you called her 'bengong' and she is really in the 'bengong' state that day... and poof! Just like that your friendship ends."

So people, please, be nicer whether you are in real life or online. You aren't a robot, you're human. By nature, no one wants to be hurt so why hurt people? Think. Karma exists so what you do to people now, will soon come back to you someday, maybe in a different form. So reflect every time you go to sleep whether you have hurt people with your actions or what not and you in turn, forgive them.

Be nice to people and God will reward you. :)

Thanks for reading my rants. It's longer than I thought. ._.

Assalamualaikum and may peace be upon you :)

Tazkirah of the day:

”Sisters, being beautiful doesn’t make you nice, but being nice makes you beautiful.”

- Shaykh Waleed Basyouni

In addition to that:

Brothers, being handsome doesn't make you nice, but being nice makes you handsome.

Hi. Sorry I was late.


Imagination engineers.

That's what we hope of becoming. Engineers to imagination, engineering our imaginations, because imagination is the only thing left for us to survive our adulthood ( at least for me).

Oh no. We're neither an actual engineer. Well, we wish we are but we're not. We're just your two average girls from Kuantan.

Sorry, that was a mess-rambling. Sorry.
Wait, I thought that's the point of this blog?
Well then, sorry I'm not actually sorry. Pffsch.

Anyway, I believe that everybody in this world should grab their chance to-

-gosh Mama panggil suruh kunci pintu sat.

-okay back.

chances to...(I feel like this is going to a different direction than I first intended) to..to improve themselves. Hence, this what we're doing. Grabbing our chance in becoming better writers, basically a better person in the whole. We're sorry to those Grammar Nazis out there if our grammar mistakes are....well, you know, unbearable or some'in.

Come on, hierarchy wise,even the teacher who taught us English in school is not as good as their teacher who taught them English before they start to teach us. As I said before, please cut us some slack.

If you're with me, than congrats. If you don't understand that, don't give up. Code is created to be broken.

And, quoting from Shakespeare, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts." So why don't you play your part and leave us comments and critics, just like a teacher would,so that we'll be better? Please, teacher slash actor?

Assalamuaalaikum and have a nice day y'all!

Thursday, 1 November 2012

A Promise in Summer (Part 2)



I saw a boy with copper hair with eyes of matching colour, sitting on the chair beside my bed, goofily grinning at me. His hands were playfully juggling the fruits which I was sure were taken from the fruits basket for me. I admitted I was slightly impressed by the deft juggling but his presence made me jerk up from my bed in shock.

“Who are you, freak?” I snapped. I didn’t know why but I hated the goofy grin plastered on his pale face.
“Man, this is the second time we’ve met and you still couldn’t remember me? I’m deeply hurt.” He replied, grinning.
“Who are you?” I repeated. This time my voice was stern. It wasn’t like me to let myself being ridiculed.
“Eric.” He merely replied.
“Leave me alone you freak! I didn’t know any Eric.” I said.
“I’ve learnt that pleasing everyone is impossible especially you, but pissing everyone off especially you is easy and funny. And trust me Ivan, I will not leave you until we did what we are supposed to do.”
“Don’t you have anything else to do? Instead of being lazed around here, you should do something better.”
“Hey, I’m not lazy. I’m just highly motivated not to do anything but be with you. You should be proud.”
Suddenly, that famous catch-phrase rang a bell. It sounded very familiar to my ears.
“I remember you now! You and your lazy motivation principles!”
“Wow. This..is..awkward.” He replied.
We spent our time together until the visiting hour was over.

***

Daffodils, tulips, roses and leaves were dancing to the soft music blowing under the clad in grey sky. The grass emitted a strong smell indicating they were just done bathing under the rain pour last night. In a blink of eyes, the sunlight cracked through the stretched horizon, lighting up the world, waking up everything to face yet another day. I was woken up by the morning breeze that blew through the open window. When the sunlight penetrated through the window, I shifted to my left trying to avoid my eyes from the God’s light. Hmm..it’ll be good if I continue the sleep now. It’s very cozy…

“Wake up! Tsunami is coming!”
My heart skipped a beat, my eyes went wide, and my body jerked on its own spontaneously.
“Dude, chill. It’s me. Eric.”
“YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!”
“That would be the last thing I would do, Ivan.” He replied. I saw a hint of sad emotions running through his eyes before he inverted his eyes downwards, staring to the floor, still smiling.
That’s bizarre, I thought to myself. But I couldn’t bring myself to say anything.

Silence.

I kept on staring my blanket sheet. For some unknown reason, the silence around us was very awkward, in fact, it was almost uncomfortable.
“Hey, your doctor is very cute!” He said enthusiastically breaking the awkward silence between us.
“Huh? What?”
“You should not eat those apples there.” He said pointing to a basket of apples on top of the shelves in front us.
“What? Eric, what’s your point? Cute doctor? Apples? Are you okay?” I asked.
“Oh, it’s nothing. You know what they say, an apple a day keep the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.” He said to me uncaringly but there’s a secret hint of smug on his face.
“Eric?”
“Yes Ivan? Do you want to thank me for being super genius?”
“No. There’s something you should know.”
“What?” He asked while looking at me intently.
“Firstly, my doctor is a male, just like me and you.”
I can see his expression changed into disgust.
“Secondly, he’s a 54 years old!”
All I can hear then was his hysterical laughter.
“If that’s the case, I think you should finish the apples as soon as possible Ivan!” He said, laughing to me.
“It’s a little too late for that Eric. I’m already in hospital.” I replied, smiling to him.
“Why don’t we go to our hide out? It’s been long isn’t it?” He asked.
“Yes! I’ve been staying here, doing nothing beside lying down and stuffing myself with foods. I don’t understand my mom. She’s too paranoid. I can hardly move to anywhere.” I complained to him.

In my eyes, in a flickered of seconds, I thought Eric looked a little distance after hearing my complaints.  Just a few ticks miliseconds, I saw his facial expression changed. But immediately, I brushed it off, thinking it was just another wild thoughts of mine. Then he explained to me his plan to get me out from the deadly boring place. I was very eager and childishly excited to execute the plan. While waiting for the right day and the perfect timing to get out from the hospital, we talked and laughed while reminisce our memories together. It felt divinely good to be able to talk to him like we used to again.

***

It was the night of full moon. We intentionally had chosen this day because by then, the silvery moonlight would light up our path. That was what Eric said anyway and I knew I had no other choice but to trust him in this matter. In fact, he was the experienced tour guide and I was now a tourist revisiting his lane of childhood memories. I was no longer the resident of this small town. Previously when we were little, the townspeople prohibited us from exploring the forest because they said it was dangerous. However, like any other kids, we never listened. We threw caution to the wind and together with a few others, explored the green mountains. We were lucky enough that we never got lost because Eric was such a natural in jungle trekking. He knew his path well, as if he was part of the forest itself. He knew every tree, every flower and every animal that crossed our path. He was also the one that shielded us from any harm that might come our way such as the deep gorge, the slippery earth and the vicious water currents. He had the best instinct and that instinct had always protected us.

We had explored many parts of the forest together with others but there was only one spot that we kept it private only between us. Eric said he did not want to share the spot with anyone else but only to a friend he dearly trusted. It was their hideout place. He also said to me once, a long time ago, that the place would symbolize their friendship. It meant the world to me when Eric said that.

I smiled to myself. The forest’s surrounding was now becoming more familiar as we walked up the hill. Immediately my senses became more and more alive as we delved deeper into the heart of jungle. It was only the two of us embraced by Mother Nature. The scent of rotting leaves beneath my feet wafted to my nose, my eyes registered the sight of wild flowers bathed in moonlight, my hands deftly pushing the brambles and branches that were in my way, while my ears savoured the shrill cry of the midnight cicadas and the crunch of my lone footsteps.

Lone footsteps?

I shocked myself with my own thoughts. Why would I only hear my own footsteps? Eric was just an arm’s reach in front of me. It was not possible that he didn’t make any sound at all. The earth was a thick layer of dried leaves and branches. I blinked, disbelieved. It was either I had my eardrum broken without notice, I was now a madman or I suffered from both. While I was trying to brush away the thought that suddenly gave an eerie feeling in this half-dark forest, I strained my hearing in hope it become more sensitive and proved my imagination wrong.

“Why are you stopping Ivan?” Eric turned around so suddenly and asked. I couldn’t help but jump. I tried to regain my composure in time but Eric was definitely faster.
“You just jumped! I saw that!” He burst out laughing heartily. He laughed as if my shocked expression was the funniest thing in the world.
“I didn’t jump.” I said, embarrassed at being caught by him.
“You just did.” Eric grinned. “What? Are you scared of the dark now?” I gave him a death glare, the usual sign I used when I wanted people to shut up and stop their ridicule.
“You can’t threaten me with that glare. I was immune to those glares already. I have a First Class Degree in Ivan’s Anger Management, majoring in pissing you off and minor in nullifying every and each of Ivan’s insults.” Eric grinned, to which I responded by jokingly punch him the face but he easily dodged it.

We laughed at each other’s lame jokes when suddenly Eric stopped talking once we arrived at a clearing in the forest. He silently pointed to the sky. His eyes brightened.

We were now under the glow of the stellar sky. A myriad of stars spread across the inky cloudless sky. The celestial bodies aligned at their respective places, forming various summer constellations.
I swore I had never felt this close to the sky.

“See that constellation over there?” He pointed to a clump of stars that aligned in a semi circle like a ‘U’. “That’s Corona Borealis.” Eric said. “If you imagined two dots over it, it will become a smiley face.”
I laughed. It was indeed true. It was as if there was a face smiling down on you if you imagined there the presence of two dots.
“Then that is… “He pointed to another star system.
“Hercules.” I continued and flashed him a pretentious snobbish, arrogant look.
“I didn’t know you knew the summer skies.”
“I’ve always loved watching the sky.” I sat down before I let myself fall onto the grass, uniting with the earth as one with your eyes staring right at the sky. I wondered what would it be if the earth had eyes, would this be the kind of view that it would see? Nothing would obstruct your view of the sky - no buildings, no skyscraper; nothing of the human civilization could interfere.  

A moment later, Eric joined me. There were two of us, lying on the ground, naming the stars and reminisced our past like we used to do. Eric asked me what I had wanted in the future, but when it was my turn to ask him about what he wanted to do, he tended to avoid the subject. Though honestly, I didn’t mind at all. Maybe it was not the right time to tell me.

I didn’t notice the passing of time. I was too absorbed in sky watching – the stellar beauty was too mesmerizing to take my eyes off it. Suddenly, Eric got up, brushing the grass off his clothes. He towered over me, blocking my view of the sky.
“There’s one last thing I wanted to show you.” He said. “After that, remember, I’ve fulfilled my promise to you.”
“What promise?” I asked, confused. I tried recalling but nothing came to my mind.
“Just follow me.” He jogged away downhill and I cried out asking him to wait for me as I scrambled to my feet to chase after him.
“Hurry up slowpoke! We don’t have much time left!” He shouted, waving.

I closed the distance between us and steadily followed him. Eric didn’t stop running until we arrived at a river bank. I looked around. There was nothing to be seen except for the dark waters flowing dangerously downstream. Looking at the downstream gave me an unpleasant feeling somehow.  But then something caught my eyes.

A faint glimmer in the distant.

Suddenly, the glimmer expanded across the river. Shimmering orange lights danced around slowly, encircling a dead tree trunk by the river. The dance of fiery glimmer was breathtakingly spectacular. The pale moonlight complemented the ephemeral tiny creatures so the scene was picturesque.
“Fireflies.” The word blurted out from my mouth and I spent the next few minutes watching the firefly with Eric beside me. A meaningful, satisfied smile was on his face.
“Ivan! Ivan!”
A voice echoed in the forest calling out for my name. I gave a puzzled look to Eric but he returned exactly the same expression.

“They come to find you. Busted. Damn it.” Eric laughed light heartedly. “But that’s a good thing. It’s not like I have much time either. But I’m glad I’ve kept my promise.” Eric, the ever so cheerful Eric, suddenly had a melancholic smile on his face just like the smile he showed to me in the hospital. “So it will be no problem if you go with them. So…” Eric seemed to fidget. “Farewell friend.” Eric turned around and walked away from me.

The puzzlement doubled. “What are you talking about Eric? Where are you going?” I shouted to Eric but he didn’t stop walking into the forest. I was in a dilemma of surrendering to the search team or to follow Eric. I chose the latter. I was about to move my feet in his direction when an agonizing pain struck my head like a thunderbolt. I clutched my head and cried in pain, involuntarily falling onto my knees. “Eric!” I shouted. In my hazy sight, I saw Eric was slowly engulfed in the blackness of the forest, leaving me. And behind me, I heard rapid footsteps advancing towards me.

“Are you okay?” A man in his early 40’s asked as he came closer. I nodded weakly. I knew this man. He was one of my previous neighbour. I scanned each faces. They were all familiar faces. In the small town like Mahogany, everyone knew each other.
“With whom did you come here, Ivan?”
I suppressed the pain. “I came here with Eric.”
I thought I noticed every face of the search team paled before I fell unconscious.

***

“Ivan, we should’ve told you about this, long before now. I’m... no we’re both sorry Ivan.” My mother said to me. She was holding my father’s hand so tightly her knuckles turned white. My father rubbed his thumb onto my mother’s hand, probably trying to calm her down.

I stared at my mother, waiting for her to tell me what she had in her mind. I was pretty curious but I kept my face straight.

“I want you to remain calm.” My father said.
“Yeah. Go on. What is it, Mom?”  I replied, nonchalantly.
“The truth is, Eric is long gone. He was the one who saved you from drowning last summer. Did you remember?” She paused. “I hope you stay strong Ivan.”
My mind went blank. My hands trembled vigorously. I felt cold and lonely.

Eric? Gone? Drowning?

My head was spinning in confusion. Sudden flashback of the lost memories flooded me. Fragments of my memories were like jigsaw puzzles pieces interlocked and tessellated with each other, slowly forming a perfect picture of a complete memory. By then, I remembered how I got into accident. I was on my way back from visiting Eric’s grave when I ran into a car and knocked my head. I did remember reading ‘Son, Friend, Bestest among The Greatest.’ on his tombstone.

My heart was racing, beating abnormally. Thinking about Eric, it kills me inside. Bit by bit. I miss him dearly as my best friend. Did he really die because of me? Why my Lord? Why me? Why us?  When I heard the truth from my mother, I suddenly felt a lump in my chest. My throat felt hoarse, I could taste Savanna. And I felt like I had been engulfed with darkness, I felt suffocated.  When my sight was blurred with the tears in my eyes, I asked my parents to leave me alone. My mother was reluctant at first seeing my condition, but thankfully my father asked her to leave with him. Tacitly, she acquiesced my father. I felt the weight of her sympathetic stare while she was walking out with my father but I refused to look at her. Because at that very moment and afterwards, my mind, my heart, my soul, every and each part of me was thinking about Eric.

Eric; my best friend. Oh my, for all the hatred I had towards him when we first met, I wished I could take it back now. Yes. I hated him back then when we first met. Thankfully, being Eric the Shameless one, he ignored my hate and kept on tailing me like a loyal dog. Until now, my mind could not grasp what was on me that caught his interest. He was famous, teachers loved him, girls queued just to talk to him, and boys used him as their inspirations.

Me? I was nothing back then. But with Eric, I felt like my life was colourful and more meaningful. Back then, I failed most of my subjects except Arts and Literature. Like any other unpopular kids in high school, I was practically invisible during my high school year so nobody likes me, because no one noticed me. If they in three million years actually did, I would hate them anyway. I was probably, no, definitely the most introverted person in the whole universe. And no, I am not going to admit my mistake of hating people because unlike other kids, I grew up alone, without my parents. Instead of loved by my mother, I was taken care by my babysitters. Instead of loved by my father, I was taken care by my caretaker.
Am I blaming them now?
No. I’m not.

Since I was a kid, I understood. When they chose for international meeting over my birthdays, I understood. When they missed my first day at school, I understood. When they missed my first day at college, I understood.  Given the circumstances I could comprehend what adults said when I was a baby, I think would understood my parents too when they left me to be taken care of my babysitter. When I started to discover the world and rebel like any other teenagers would, I honestly understood my parents when they took me away from Mahogany Town as my punishment. When I took art course instead of business like they had wanted, they started to react coldly towards me. And I understood that too.

By then, I knew. They had given up on me. Who would’ve not? I gave up on myself. But, the Shameless one did not.  He, who was the first person who said ‘hi’ on my first day in school, the first person, every year, without fail, wish me “Happy Birthday”. He, who kept on tailing me despite the harsh and rude words I threw at him, acted like my mother and my father, my brother and my sister. He was my only friend, the greatest one and my only family. And now, he is a history, a beautiful past, and a now ‘was’.

“Listen to Describing the Sky whenever you feel down. It’s a paean I dedicated for you Ivan.”
Well I’m forever your fighting partner,
Yeah I can hold you above them for days,
You see, my arms are strong and I’m focused.
We’re in store for better days,
Oh no, I don’t need to see,
Just tell me what it looks like above the clouds,
Describe the sky to me, just describe the sky to me.

My tears nearly fell on my cheek and being the egoistic man I am, I wiped it away immediately. I tucked myself in my blankets and went to sleep; secretly hoping that it was all just a bad dream and would dissolve away soon into nothingness.

But when I woke up again to a new day, I remembered everything. All the puzzles pieces of my memories had clicked into place to form a perfect picture. True, it wasn’t a dream, it wasn’t a nightmare either. It was a thing we called reality. Eric was dead. Drowned in the same river we used to play during our childhood. To save me.

My parents consoled me to stay strong to face life ahead. Villagers that visited me said that the ‘Eric’ that visited me was a product of my imagination and I should’ve just forget about what had happened. But I, myself, knew that the Eric I met, whether he was an earthbound soul or a ghost, did exactly what the once living Eric would have done too. I knew him better than anyone else. He was a brother of mine – one who would never break his promise no matter what happens. I trusted him with all my life. He trusted me to give me his life.

People kept on telling me the Eric I saw was due to my concussion but deep in my heart, I believed Eric did come back to fulfill his promise – our promise – made ages ago. It was a promise he made right before the unfortunate accident took his life.

“Hey Ivan, if somehow you’ll return back here next summer, I’ll bring you to our secret hideout to watch the stars and the fireflies. It’s a promise.”

 Eric. My brother. My best friend.





Credits:
My friend and editor, Shahirah Amirah binti Suhaimi
Big D and the Kids Table for the lyrics of Describing the Sky. You can listen to it in the blog's playlist :D
My roommates Nur Ain binti Ismail, Zahratul Nur binti Mohd Fauzi and Farzana Izzati binti Khairul Anuar
Everyone who is involved directly or indirectly during the making of this short story





A Promise in Summer (Part 1)


Submitted for English Carnival's Young Writer Contest
“Hey Ivan, if somehow you’ll return back here next summer, I’ll bring you to our secret hideout to watch the stars and the fireflies. It’s a promise.”

***

It was one of the most critical moments in a hospital where a person’s soul stood in the borders of life and death.
“Doctor, his pulse has stopped.”
“Resuscitate him.” The elderly doctor instructed his assistant and the assistant did as told. The defibrillators were pressed onto the young man’s chest and the boy’s body convulsed in response. Still, his breathing could not be resumed. The medical team tried again a few times. Giving up was not the quality of a doctor and so they kept on doing the resuscitation. Prayers from the boy’s parents followed, hoping for a miracle.

***

My eyes flickered open, only to be greeted by the sterile white wall. Where am I? My mind seemed to ask myself. I focused on my hearing. Padded footsteps. Trolleys being pushed. Faint chatters of several women behind the thick walls. Only the overpowering smell of antiseptic broke through my hazy mind. One word appeared in my mind: Hospital. I gasped. The hospital? Why would I be in the hospital? Of all places? Suddenly there was a sharp pang in my head. It was like a jolt of electricity, infecting every neuron of my head before snaking down my spine. I shivered. Unconsciously I grabbed my blanket and wrapped it tightly around my body trying to lessen the pain. I didn’t notice when I’d fallen into the abyss of sleep.
***
It was pitch-black and I felt like floating. My body felt surreally light as if my soul had been detached from my body. Slowly, I opened my eyes, revealing two sky blue orbs, a trait I’d inherited from my mother. I looked at myself, my hands, my body, my feet. I was wearing the same clothes I had been wearing on my journey back to my childhood town – a grey T-shirt topped with black jacket, a pair of navy blue jeans and a pair of my favourite black Nike shoes.
I heard faint footsteps in the distance. I obeyed my first impulse and turned around. I saw an apparition advancing towards me. The whiteness of the silhouette gave a great contrast with the saturnine atmosphere. I was not easily scared but undoubtedly, paranoia attacked my mind. What if the apparition was actually going to take my life away? Despite the urge to step backwards and break into a run for dear life, my feet felt like it was rooted to the ground. I gulped. I could feel beads of perspiration forming on my forehead.

Am I going to die? Only the thought lingered in the back of my head upon seeing the walking mystery. I could do nothing but to wait.
Eventually, the apparition came into view. It slowly took form of a young Adonis wearing a simple white shirt, black pants and black shoes. He had a shock of copper hair and honey brown eyes to match. His skin was pale but the warmth in his eyes was unmistakable.
A sudden déjà vu feeling swept over me. I think I’ve met him before.  But where?
The figure smiled at my bewildered expression. I was always good in maintaining an expressionless face but thrown in this bizarre situation, I doubted anyone could keep his or her cool.

“Hey, dude. How’s it going? It has been ages since we last met, no?” The mysterious boy asked with a boyish grin.
My eyes narrowed suspiciously. True, I did have the feeling of meeting him before but that didn’t put me off guard.  Cautiously, I asked, “Who are you?”
The boy almost laughed in response and I felt like I was being made a fool of myself.
“What’s so funny?”
“Dude, you have the memory of a goldfish. But that’s okay. You did hit your head pretty hard back there. You should’ve died.” He grinned.
Blood drained from my face. “Am I dead already?” I retorted, in panic. I wasn’t ready for death. Not now. Not here. Not yet.
“No. “ He said. “Not yet.”
I sighed in relief when suddenly, light began to illuminate the pitch-black atmosphere and the boy began to be engulfed by the light, giving the impression that he was about to disappear.
“Wait! Don’t go yet! Tell me who you are!”
The boy shook his head cheerfully, as in teasing. He di
dn’t answer my question. “We’re going to meet later anyways, old friend. Then you can take all the time to remember who I am and our promise. I’ll wait for you at the river bank.”
Then he broke into a flurry of green leaves and disappeared.
“Wait!”

***

I jerked open my eyes.
I saw my parent hovered over me like vultures hovering their dinner. It was a rare sight, really. My parents were rarely there for me. Not since our family business had flourished and they had taken a step into the internationals. Mom and dad spent more time overseas than at home. I was practically raised by maids and caretakers.  

Mom’s eyes were red-rimmed and sore from crying. Despite being separated for so long, it tugged my heartstrings to see my own mother’s tears, crying for me. But Dad was much more composed though his face was grim.

“Ivan! Ivan! Are you okay? Can you hear me?” Mom nearly bawled. She was about to embrace me but Dad forbid her from doing so, telling her that I was not in a very stable condition yet. I caught some of his words telling my asthma might be acting up again.
“Where am I?” I asked. My voice was hoarse because of hours or maybe days of inactive vocal chords.
“You’re in the hospital dear. You were involved in an accident.” Mom said. Suddenly, she burst into fresh tears, sobbing. “Thanks goodness you survived. I wouldn’t know what to do if you’re gone Ivan. I-I’m so sorry Ivan.”

Her sudden apology put me in a state of confusion. Why would she apologise? It was not like was the cause of my accident anyways. I turned my sight away, closed my eyes and imagined something more pleasant – a typical way of mine to put my mind at ease. I immediately thought of my hometown I used to spend my childhood.
Their voices sounded so far away, so distant, so ephemeral. However, I shook the thoughts away. I needed to confirm that their presence was not a product of my imagination due to the concussion I had. Not that I fully knew the state of my body now but by judging the throbbing pain in my head, I took a logical guess that I suffered from a concussion.

“You are one of the luckiest people out there. It was almost a miracle that you survived with minor physical injuries. You’re almost fine except for the concussion.” Seems like my guess was right. After a short pause, my father spoke again. “But unfortunately, Ivan…“ His voice suddenly trailed off. There was a hint of concern and worry a true father would have felt for his child. “The doctor had said that the accident may and may not have an effect on your memories.”
I squinted my eyes, trying to register the gist of my father’s message. Nevertheless, I forced my lips to curve upwards into a smile as an attempt to tell them that I was okay though in reality I wasn’t. 

Truthfully, I really wasn’t feeling well. I felt like I had forgotten something very important. It was as if my brain kept on searching and searching but couldn’t find it. It was a neuronal error. 
“I’m okay Mom, Dad. I still remember we’re a family at the very least.”
That did it. Mom wound around her arms around me as her first impulse upon hearing my words. She was deeply moved and I could feel her tears trickling on my shoulders. I took the tears as her regret and repentance of her ignorance towards me all these years. I forgave her. I forgave my father too. But I couldn’t forgive myself for knowing that I’d forgotten something but couldn’t recall it. But I kept it to myself. Having them worrying about me was the last thing I needed right now. Right now, I just needed peace and tranquility. And time. I needed time to recuperate and return to my top form. That time, I knew what I needed most was a place where I could rejuvenate and be myself. Only one place flashed through my mind. The destination that I was heading to before my luck went rock bottom.
“Mom, Dad.“ I said.
“What is it?” They answered almost at once.
“Can I have my rehab at Mahogany Town?” I said.
They unconditionally agreed almost immediately. “Yes, of course Ivan. Mahogany is a beautiful place to live in. you’ll recover in no time.” I smiled at them and they seem terribly happy that it was almost funny.

I didn’t know what my parent told the doctors but I was transferred to Mahogany Town hospital just a few days later. I was told to undergo slow recovery as the accident affected mostly my brain. Despite my brain trauma, I remembered with perfect clarity the beauty of the small town - the pristine village, the green mountains landscape, the blue lake waters, the awe-inspiring wildlife.
In fact, I was on my way here that I was involved in the accident that nearly sacrificed my life. Thankfully, God still give me a second chance at life and here I was still breathing on the green earth, under the blue sky.

I sighed. Looking through the window of the hospital, indeed the place hadn’t change at all. Time seemed to stop in this tranquil town. Much to my relief.
I feasted my eyes on the lush mountainous side, and let its calming effect sooth me. The zephyr blew through the curtained windows and caressed my face. “That’s it.” I decided. I won’t just sit here and idle.  I should venture out there and rejuvenate myself. Being cooped up in the hospital room wouldn’t do me any good, I decided.  

Carefully I jumped out from my bed. Making a low thud as my feet landed on the cold floor. I walked over to my luggage bag and pulled out a new pair of clothes to replace the one I was wearing. I fitted myself with a black T-shirt, black jeans and sneakers, I sneakily escaped from the hospital but not without a black cap on my head for a weak disguise and my treasured sketch book with me.

Somehow, my instinct led me to the riverbank in this small town. I think the river was where I used to swim with my friends. How long had it been? Nine? Ten years? I wasn’t sure. 
Like in the past, there was still a huge old banyan tree beside the river and I had always recklessly climbed it just to prove myself I was the hero. Sometimes, the tree acted as our natural diving platform. We would climb as high as we could and dove for the water.

“Good old times.” I mumbled and smiled to myself.
As I keep walking, the surrounding started to feel nostalgic. Every step I took felt very familiar to me as if I had been doing it all my life.  I walked deeper into the forest as if I knew the end of the direction of the path I walked. The smell of the trees, the chirping of the birds, everything were how it used to be. How it used to be?  When was the last time I was actually here? Have I been here before? Was I alone?  I kept on asking myself. Again and again. These unknown questions kept on circulating my thoughts. I was too focused on trying to bring out the memory from the memory bank until my head started to hurt. The world around me started to spin around. Each step I took started to feel as if I was walking on a spinning top. My eyes felt like it was going to pop out and my body felt airy. I vaulted over a tree beside me and searched for the painkillers I brought along with me. 

As I was busy searching, for unknown reason, I looked to my left and I saw a rundown cabin. Just when I saw the cabin, my fingers stopped searching, my body went on semi-freeze. All of my attention was caught by the old cabin. It felt very nostalgic to me somehow. I ignored the pain in my head and kept on staring the cabin. From afar, I saw that the veins of leaves from nearby travelling to most of its bottom part covering almost half of the cabin. Instead of being landscaped with beautiful flowers, shrubs and bushes surrounded the cabin. I literally heard myself said ‘Don’t go there. It could be dangerous!’ but the warmth I felt in my heart when I saw the rundown cabin won over my thoughts. 

I doubted every step I took walking to the cabin. The saying ‘curiosity kills the cat’ kept on swimming in my mind but I calmed myself by thinking how lucky I was to be born as human. Despite the fights I had in my mind between myself, whether to keep on walking or turn around, I kept on walking. I walked slowly and wobbly but I was energized enough by the curiosity that flooded over me. The path to the cabin was almost covered with wild grass but the path was still definitely there. ‘Someone must have always visited this cabin before.’ I thought to myself.

As I reached the front door, I saw “I will always be back! You betcha!” written on the door. I smiled to myself. Then, I went to the window and tilted my head upwards; trying to see what was inside the cabin. But the thick dust on the window blocked my view. I felt very unsatisfied so I walked back to the front door and reached the doorknob. The question of to open or not to open flashed in my head one after another. I felt a sudden jolt when the cold metal doorknob met my warm hand. My heart was racing and I could feel butterflies in my stomach as if it was my first date I was about to check out on. Then I thought to myself, It would be a huge disappointment to not do it now. With that, I decided to enter the cabin and by God, I was very much anticipating what was inside the cabin. I turned the doorknob and pushed the door slowly. The creaking sound made by the door was almost eerie to my ears if only I wasn’t so excited about the insides of the cabin.

As the light shyly emerged into the cabin, dimly illuminating it, my jaw dropped open. I was undeniably flabbergasted and perplexed.

My sketches! My paintings! My pictures! They were everywhere in that cabin. Framed on the wall, desk, and on the small wooden coffee table that looked rather amateurish.  I gave a guess that the table was handmade judging by the rough carpentry. I entered the cabin carefully. Step by step.  My nostrils were then immediately assaulted with dust in the cabin. I coughed hard and fanned around with both of my hands. With every breath I took my head started to become dizzy for unknown reasons. Maybe it was really a bad idea I broke into this cabin. My gut instinct suddenly told me that it was time to sneak back into the hospital before I was caught red handed for breaking the golden rule for a patient: stay and rest in the hospital. 

I jogged, despite the dizziness lest the doctor found my room empty. I hypothesized the subsidence of my dizziness was because of the fresh air I inhaled because once I stepped out from the cabin, I felt well again, which was a good thing. Therefore, I took a chance and decided to test my body. From the slow jog, I thought I could be a bit faster and eventually I broke into a run. Surprisingly it didn’t hurt at all and that was the time I felt like I truly lived.

Luck was on my side when I found my room, my bed, was as it was before I left it. Good. No one had come and checked on me. I discarded my clothes, knowing that they would betray my ‘prison break’ and put on the hospital clothes. I just hoped they wouldn’t happen to come now as I was damp with sweat and my heartbeat was vigorous. It didn’t take the brain of a rocket scientist to figure out that I had broken out from my room and sneaked outside. 

Relax Ivan. Keep your head cool. You won’t get caught. 

I assured myself. It wasn’t that I fear being scolded. I was more annoyed at being reprimanded on how reckless I was, how immature my action was and blah blah blah. Something of that sort.
I jumped onto my bed and acted like nothing had happened though my mind was at its peak of imagination. I imagined the doctor coming into the room any moment with a nurse following her, what should I say to make my lie more believable, how should I fake a smile and tell them that I am definitely okay and so on…

I didn’t have the slightest idea when I had fallen asleep. I only knew that when I woke up, I sensed another’s presence in the room.

-To be continued in Part 2-